Bye everyone!
I'm not sure what to say. Really, I'm just feeling so awful. But following the advice from some of you here and from my own head, I'll stop coming here so often. I'm blocking the board from my browser and deleting reddit. I want to say that it's going to be awesome and that I will make it, but really, at this point, I just can't be sure. Who knows? HRT may not work and I may be stuck in this body that I hate, seeing my face in the mirror, hearing my own voice, comparing myself to others, and just wanting to cry because of it.
But at the same time, feeling like this is just so horrible... I want to try. I want to some day believe that things can be better, I want to see myself in the mirror and be happy. Be happy with how I look, who I am and all I've done. That just sounds so amazing.
And God, I wish I was better with words. I guess I've said enough, tho. I just want to thank you all for always being so, so kind to me. So many times, even when I was just not deserving of it. I recognize how annoying my constant doomposting was, and I hope you all can forgive me for that and all the other times I was rude, or in any other way hurt any of you. It's my fault and I'm sincerely sorry. That's all. You are all going to make it, I believe it. It's what you deserve, to be happy. I know it's generic, I wish I could do more, but if it makes it better, know that it's from the bottom of my heart.
I'm not sure what to say. Really, I'm just feeling so awful. But following the advice from some of you here and from my own head, I'll stop coming here so often. I'm blocking the board from my browser and deleting reddit. I want to say that it's going to be awesome and that I will make it, but really, at this point, I just can't be sure. Who knows? HRT may not work and I may be stuck in this body that I hate, seeing my face in the mirror, hearing my own voice, comparing myself to others, and just wanting to cry because of it.
But at the same time, feeling like this is just so horrible... I want to try. I want to some day believe that things can be better, I want to see myself in the mirror and be happy. Be happy with how I look, who I am and all I've done. That just sounds so amazing.
And God, I wish I was better with words. I guess I've said enough, tho. I just want to thank you all for always being so, so kind to me. So many times, even when I was just not deserving of it. I recognize how annoying my constant doomposting was, and I hope you all can forgive me for that and all the other times I was rude, or in any other way hurt any of you. It's my fault and I'm sincerely sorry. That's all. You are all going to make it, I believe it. It's what you deserve, to be happy. I know it's generic, I wish I could do more, but if it makes it better, know that it's from the bottom of my heart.