AITAH: for not going to my mom’s second Thanksgiving to appease her abusive boyfriend

So let me begin. My mom has been in long term relationship with a man, let’s call him Fred. This man has been emotionally abusive to her and has caused family issues all throughout the years. He’s an alcoholic, He has insulted my siblings in horrible ways, texted me bio dad and other family members nasty things, and has also been terrible to me. He’s put my mom down more ways than I can count. All around a terrible person. My mom and Fred finally broke up a year ago and she seemed to break free and was doing well. Now, she is back with him and insisting he’s “changed” and “things are different” which to me feels like textbook abuse, to rope her back in then thing will go back to normal.

• [ ] Fast forward to thanksgiving, my aunt has decided to host it. She invited my grandparents, my siblings, and my mom. She said that she does not want my mom to bring Fred since we don’t want to be around him, the line was crossed too many times. My mom is bad about this and decided that she’s going to have a separate thanksgiving on Friday with my grandparents. My grandparents would also be attending my aunt’s thanksgiving. I am traveling on thanksgiving day to go to my dad’s thanksgiving and my aunt’s thanksgiving. I told my mom I won’t be attending the “Friday thanksgiving” as I do not want to be around or associate myself with Fred.

My mom is now trying to guilt me and acting like I’m the reason the family can’t all be together for Thanksgiving because I’ve chosen not to go Friday. When in reality she is choosing not to go to my aunt’s house and things we should all boycott her thanksgiving, do nothing Thursday, and celebrate Friday. She me telling me that my grandparents are getting old and they just want everyone to be together, and I’m really upsetting my grandparents. Even though I will see my grandparents at my aunts thanksgiving on Thursday.

TLDR: my mom thinks I’m ruining thanksgiving because I am choosing to go to my aunt’s, who does not want my mom’s abuse boyfriend there. She wants me to boycott my aunt’s thanksgiving Thursday, stay home, and then have a separate thanksgiving with her and her bf on Friday.