Classmate kissed me, I shoved her, now I’m in trouble, how do I explain my side

I, 16m, really hate kissing or anything to do with mouths on me, even as a kid I felt physically sick when a parent kissed my cheek. I just really hate it. Not sure why, just do. I don’t tell people about this because highchool doesn't involve kissing for me, and it would be weird to just tell random people.

The semester change just happened at school and my classes are completely new to me. I was in last block and we didn’t have anything to work on for the last 3 ish minutes so I was on my phone with my bag ready. We had early dismissal too, some teacher thing, so we were getting out at 2 ish.

This girl came up to me who I have never known, spoken, or heard about in my entire highschool experience. She asked to talk about something and I said sure, and she leaned down and kissed me. No warning, just straight in. I shoved her back as hard as I could out of instinct without thinking about it because I don’t know this girl at all, not even her name. She hit the desk behind her pretty hard and started crying, borderline sobbing. Her friends (I think they’re her friends?) rushed over and the teacher came over to ask what happened, but she was sobbing and couldn’t explain, so I told her my side. They were gonna send her to the nurse for some ice or something, but then the bell rang so I just booked it out before they could stop me.

I’m already being harassed on Snapchat about it. People are messaging me, calling me an abusive piece of shit and from what I’ve been sent the narrative seems to be that I’m mystery girl’s boyfriend and I hit her for presumably no reason. Neither are true because a) i don’t know her, and b) I shoved her, I didn’t hit her. I explained both facts to people who were harassing me, but most don’t believe me.

If it ended like this, that would have been fine, whatever, I’ll deal with the bad image. However, my mom called me not too long ago saying she got an email regarding me ‘attacking‘ this girl, and that I need to go to the office tomorrow morning. I’ll told what happened, and she believes me, but if this doesn’t get resolved this goes on my school, record. I’m especially worried because last year a student attacked another student (on purpose in this case) and he was suspended and almost expelled.

What the heck do I do? I’ve taken screen shots of the snaps and emailed the teacher who was there. She didn’t see the altercation but she heard my side when it happened right after it happened. I’ve texted my friends who were in that class but none of them saw what happened. I really don’t want this on my record because I’ve never had an incident before and if I get suspended for ‘attacking a student’ That’s no good. At all.

So far I’ve written everything I can remember in order of events, my reasons for reacting that way, and a template apology per my mom’s advice, but I don’t know if that‘s enough. Has anyone been in this situation before? Or something similar? Any advice on how to make this go away would be appreciated.

This turned out a lot longer than I thought it was gonna be. Sorry if I spelt something wrong.

edit: thank you all for the advice and suggestions, and for pointing out the very obvious fact what she did was assault. I don’t know how I didn’t think of that since we’ve had hour long presentations about consent in school, but I see it clearly now. I talked with my mom and called my dad, and they’re gonna either be in the office with me for the meeting or wait outside. I’m taking your guys’ advice with pointing out that I reacted in self defence and show the screenshots from Snapchat. I will not be deleting Snapchat as some suggested, I still use it to communicate with long distant friends and my cousins in the UK. Chances are I’ll make a new account. Again, thank you all for the advice and the criticisms as well, it means a lot.

I finally got it to update on the official post after reloading it 50 times, so I’ll paste the update from the comments here:

I was going to update yesterday night, but my mom took me out for dinner to celebrate my report card and I got super tired afterwards and forgot to update. So here it is now:

I went to the meeting with the VP and my grade’s guidance councillor. The girl who kissed me, I’ll refer to her as ‘Jean’, was not there for this meeting. My mom was there in the meeting with me, but made it clear I should take the lead with this and she would be there in case I needed help or was being pressured.

I didn’t go in guns blazing, as some suggested, but I didn’t incriminate myself or apologize. Also, after I posted my edit to the post, a girl from Jean’s friend circle, who was also one of the girls who went to help Jean aft3 I pushed her, reached out through snap and said she saw what happened and knew I didn’t hit her like people were saying, and that she hoped I was doing okay since people were (and are) badmouthing me. I screen shot the messages as well, and they were helpful.

The meeting went something like this over the course of 45 minutes:

They told me all the consequences for attacking a student, what this means for my future at the school/in general, and said they were very disappointed in me. They already assumed I was guilty.

I showed them the Snapchat messages from the nice girl who reached out, and the other messages of people accusing me of hitting her and the threats I was getting.

So they went from possibly expelling me, to both me and Jean getting suspended. Not great. So I brought up the assault aspect. Personally, I don’t feel violated or assaulted, just unsettled by the fact I was kissed, but it was assault by definition, which is wrong. The big scary A word got their attention and they seemed more tense than before. But guidance councillor still said that while that was true, I should have been the bigger person and just asked her to stop. I brought up the fact that in their very own presentation about assault and sexual violence, they make it clear mutual consent is mandatory for any sort of intimate activity, but she said that this situation was different.

This next part I am so grateful for my mom, because when she heard that she went full force on threatening charges, stating why what happened is assault, the laws in our area about assault, how she would get the school involved since they had just try to downplay assault, etc. She also brought up the fact that if the roles were reversed and a boy had randomly kissed a girl like that, there wouldn’t even be a discussion, he would be gone from the school.

Mom said they either get their shit together and keep me out of suspension, or she would go to the police, the news, Facebook, anywhere. The school wants another meeting next Monday to discuss things with Jean, which I’m okay with, so we can hopefully resolve things and let it go.

I don’t want to go after Jean legally because I think she just didn’t understand why that was wrong. I don’t know why she kissed me in the first place, but if things go well neither of us will get suspended and I can just get on with my life. I’ll update this post after Monday’s meeting.

Again, sorry for not updating in a timely manner. I had my first math quiz of the semester today and I cram studied Monday night. I got a dm asking how I was doing, and it reminded me to update, so thank you to the user who reached out.

My mom was not there per the school’s request. The meeting was straightforward and was just a lot of the same ‘we can’t have this happening again’ and ‘I hope this is the last meeting you two’ type of stuff. I explained my extreme dislike for kisses and that while I’m sorry she was hurt when I shoved her, I am not sorry that I reacted that way.

Jean explained her friends bet her a starbucks drink if she kissed a random guy (I was the unlucky winner) and she didn’t think it through cause she assumed I’d like it. I don’t blame her for thinking that. she was sorry and she understood how visceral a reaction can be because as it turns out she is on the autism spectrum and reacts similarly to people touching her hair. It was very straightforward, as I said.

So we’re not suspended, but there is an insignificant (according to the councillor) note on our school transcript. this will not affect university or college admissions (so we were told). So yeah. I’m free!

to those who said in the comments to push for her to be punished, as much as I appreciate the advice, I feel it’s unnecessary, especially since she has shown genuine remorse. My takeaway from this whole thing is that I want to figure out what causes my reaction to such an extent. I have several other odd sensory issues that others don’t have, mostly regarding textures and some sounds. I’d like to get that under control or identified, because I don’t want to have a negative reaction again. Thanks for keeping up with me and this situation and thank you for the advice and criticism, it helped get me out of this mess swiftly.

bonus edit: my main account on Reddit has been banned as of last I checked. So I’ll be sticking around on here for the foreseeable future.