Without therapy or medication, does time ever fully heal you?

I’ve tried both and they weren’t beneficial enough to continue paying for. I was doing pretty good for a while until a scary hoover attempt and now i’m back into spiraling and stalking their socials. I’ve thought about them every day since the split. I’ve had some really horrible intrusive thoughts about some really nasty things they did to me or made me do. I am feeling myself falling into a breaking point again and I can’t do this for the rest of my life.