I feel so hopelessly alone since converting

I’ve been trying not to post anything here, thinking that I’m just going to be complaining about my problems and being a nuisance. But I need to get this out somewhere otherwise it’s going to keep eating at me.

I was baptised as an adult at 26. I come from an atheist family who were never supportive of my faith, but were merely passive to it.

I am now 28, and I have made many great friends in the church, and they’re wonderful people. But I’m a student, and my life is very different from theirs, as well as the fact that I am by far the youngest in that church group. I also have Catholic friends in my university, but we don’t spend time together as I often feel uncomfortable as a mature student doing social things around 18 year old first years.

My family has started to push me out over time. My faith is becoming a problem to their lives and they make me out to be a stickler for everything. I don’t partake in things that they do for “fun” (doing tarot, buying them crystals, ouija boards and other witchy items for Christmas/birthdays). I don’t support the pride movement or anything along those lines that they preach about, though I don’t speak up about it either. I just decide to politely opt out. Now they lambast my faith. They call God my “imaginary friend” at the dinner table and then play the victim when I state that I have an issue with it. I feel disrespected, and that my beliefs don’t matter. I feel alone at home despite being surrounded by family.

This also stretches to my friendship groups. I have some wonderful friends but I have noticed that, as I get stronger in my faith, they want less and less to do with me. Again, I don’t confront them, but my decision to not comment or take part in certain things makes them uncomfortable it seems. And then when I have taken issue with derogatory jokes made about my faith, they again claim to be the victim.

This now falls to the awkward issue of my love life. At 28, it’s understandable that every fibre of my body is telling me that I want a family. And this is absolutely true. I’ve never been able to find a relationship here at university because, again, most of them are just far too young and I don’t want to come across as a creep. Relationships between a first and a third year are often frowned upon here, let alone a 28 year old looking for a relationship. Every other mature student I know is past 50 at least, so that option isn’t even possible. Then whenever I do find someone to talk to, the moment my faith is brought up and the fact that I wish to wait until marriage all interest in me is lost. We had a blessing said for engaged couples at Mass today. Half of them were my friends. I am so happy for them, and I pray that their marriages are fruitful and pleasing to God. But seeing their happiness and their love makes me hurt so much at the same time. It felt like I had been punched in the gut afterwards. I had to just leave after Mass ended instead of hang around with them, and I feel awful.

I understand that life can bring suffering. I offer it up to God and I pray that His plan for me will be fulfilled. I trust in Him fully. But it doesn’t help the fact that I feel absolutely, truly alone. He is with me, I know this. And I am grateful for this. But in this broken world, I feel so abandoned because of my faith.

I will probably get over myself soon. This is all a load of nonsense that is eating at my head. But I need to expel it somewhere.

Please pray for me. That is all I ask.