How much do you actually fear gaining weight?

it kind of became clear to me that although I spend a lot of my time planning meals, trying not to binge and restricting around plans with friends and family, I'm actually not that afraid of gaining weight? i do have a max weight that freaks me out if i reach it and I do get discouraged/kinda sad if I'm restricting but end up gaining a couple of grams... but if the weight i gain is below that threshold i kind of think "ah I can lose it again". does anyone freak out whenever they gain weight or is it also like above a threshold?