I feel like giving up

My husband and I have been looking for homes for a few years now. We've talked to countless brokers, loan agents, banks. We both have always had a great credit score according to Experian and our bank accounts (wells Fargo and capital One both show us credit scores). We moved a lot for the last 5 years though, and finally decided this year to settle down and actually officially work towards a home. We chose a place with low rent so we could work towards saving, I buy bulk groceries and meal prep a ton so we are saving on food and meals cost barely anything, we don't really do much that costs money (never go out, never eat out, when we go on dates we just do free things). Despite all this, there's just issue after issue after issue.

Our current lender we reached out to told us that despite us both having plenty of credit cards that stay paid and a history of car loans that have all been paid on time till they were paid in full, and a long credit history, and this and that that the FHA and USDA loans only count ONE specific credit agency (TransUnion I think) and that TransUnion has no record of anything that we have done except one credit card. The credit card they see? My husband's that he had set to autopay that he didn't actually touch or use since college and apparently the autopay wasn't working because he put in the wrong banking info and they never sent us any mail or notifications about it and so they cancelled his card and put a huge no-pay on his credit. We had NO idea this was happening, we thought it had been paying fine the whole time. And yes, this is on us, we should've been consciously checking this every month to verify the payments were going in, but it just sucks. So the lender said basically we are screwed until that comes off our credit in 5-7 years, or if we open a new line of credit that reports to TransUnion specifically. But she said she doesnt know who reports to TransUnion. So...she basically said good luck.

She also said our credit scores which have always shown in the 700+ range are 650 (husband's) and 610 (mine). She said Experian is wrong and never to trust it so my credit has apparently never been the 715-730 or so that it's been saying?

So we talked about conventional loan but even doing what we do to save, it'll be god knows how long. I get I could cut out the monster energy I choose to drink once a week as a treat and in 15 years I'll be 3% closer to the 20% down payment in cash I need but FUCK. Its so frustrating to be in this spot where rent is ever increasing even in suburban and rural areas of the cheapest state in the country so despite having a good job we are paying a giant portion of the paycheck to rent and utilities and yet we still can't get a house so at least spending that much could go towards ownership. And the houses we are looking at with the average interest have cheaper monthly costs total than what we rent. And why are there three credit agencies? And why does everybody apparently only look at one of them? And why do the loans and cards we've opened and worked hard to pay properly to increase credit apparently never report to the correct one?

I just needed to vent. We feel stuck. I know people might be irritated this is on here but I don't really have anywhere else to say this. I'm frustrated and tired.