can’t even read smut 😞

I got a romance book that seemed up my alley as far as my dream scenario but once it arrived I felt so disconnected reading. Like when they describe the scenes I can’t feel the actions or imagine what they’d be like. Like I’m almost not turned on at all by these things I’ve envisioned for years now before falling asleep. It’s almost like I’m numb or just completely sick of anything to do with intimacy even though I’ve never experienced it. I may need to take a breather from day dreaming before sleeping which is crazy. Like I’m just not turned on by anything and reading it’s like these things I’m reading aren’t real. Like I’ll never have sex so I don’t even have any true understanding or full comprehension of how to feel. It’s not in my realm of possibility.