Husband would rather jerk off than have sex with me…

So husband (34M) and I (29F) have been married a little over a year now. We had libido differences from the beginning (mine being higher) but still managed to find a happy middle ground of sex about 2 or 3 times a week. He is a very selfish lover (says it’s my job to get myself off during sex and his main objective is to get himself off). Rarely ever puts any effort into foreplay, stimulating me in anyway, or going down on me (has to be asked and is not enthusiastic about it making it not very enjoyable for me). I am a very generous lover and frequently initiate by going down on him. Probably around 8/10 sexual encounters are just him asking for a quickie and essentially “using” me to get off. Which is fine, I never turn him down for sex and would rather he enjoy my body as his wife than turn to porn or masturbation but actually intimacy is extremely rare.

Early this year I caught him jerking off to porn and it caused a big fight. We agreed it is not something we want in our marriage but he insists that it’s different for guys. He says he doesn’t look at porn anymore but I am noticing he is jerking off more. I asked him about it 2 weeks ago and explained that it hurts my feelings, especially when he hides it from me and lies about it. Today I jumped in the shower and was in/out in less than 5 minutes and when i got out he was scrambling to hide that he’d just jerked off. He lied about it, we got into a fight and haven’t talked all day. To add insult to injury I am 8 months pregnant and have been struggling with my self esteem/body image throughout the entire pregnancy. All this was an issue before I was pregnant too but it seems to make it feel so much worse because i’m sacrificing my body for our child and he doesn’t seem to have any reverence for it. He has very little sympathy for any of the challenges/side effects of being pregnant and has not emotionally supported me throughout it. There have been a couple times that I had to beg for a back rub before bed so that maybe I could get some relief and be able to sleep through the pain.

The thing is I never turn him down for sex and have brought up in the past how I would love to have sex more frequently and try new things. Sex has dwindled to maybe once a week, oftentimes just him asking for a quickie (ie, no foreplay, him sticking it in me when I’m not turned on at all, always from the back/bent over something, just him reaching completion in ~3 mins and being done). He says I’m an unpleasant person and doesn’t really want to always have sex with someone like that. I have been a bit more moody lately due to the hormones and feeling unsupported during pregnancy but this has been an ongoing issue. I have been making an effort to be in a good mood and do extra things around the house for him but nothing seems to make a difference. I have a lot of fears around infidelity and the secret masturbating and lying feels like a betrayal to me, especially when I crave intimacy with him so bad. I’ve explained how it makes me feel to him but he always manages to turn the blame back around on me. Am I being unreasonable?