Reoccurring Dreams (!!Trigger Warning!!)

!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!! Mentions of drug use and paraphernalia. Please take care of yourself!!

Every night for the past 3 weeks, I have had the same horrible reoccurring nightmare. It starts off as me sitting on the couch. I’m fiendish, antsy, erratic and irritable as I wait. I already know what I’m waiting for. The doorbell rings, I get the dope and I go back in the house. Everything that happens after seems so… procedural. I have everything laid out in front of me. Pills, foil, lighter and a straw all in a neat row at my “work station”. As I put the straw in my mouth and take my first hit, my husband walks through the front door. The look on his face says it all. I beg and I plead for him to understand that it was just a mistake and that I haven’t really fallen off the wagon but it’s like he can’t hear me because he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t respond at all. He just stands there as I weep at his feet. I scream and beg for him to say something to me. That’s when I wake up… I’ve been struggling lately.