Anxiety over Panic Attacks & Seeking Reassurance

Hello everyone! 👋🏽 It’s my first time ever on this subreddit, so I’d first like to greet all of you and thank you for making a server where those of use who suffer from panic attacks can come together and talk about our experiences and hardships. 🙏🏽 I want to start out by mentioning that I first started experiencing panic attacks at the age of 15, my sophomore year of high school. I had a history of depression and social anxiety, so I was already meeting with a CBT therapist. My childhood was unfortunately turbulent due to domestic violence in the home and I struggled making friends leading to a plethora of issues for a child me. However, with therapy, all seemed to be progressively getting better at least little by little. Unfortunately, I suddenly started experiencing panic attacks a little after I turned 15. My first ever panic attack was triggered by a health scare as I was dealing with persistent chest pain. Luckily, nothing seemed to be wrong with me after being checked by medical professionals, but this was the beginning of my panic disorder. A little bit later into my sophomore year and after getting together with my wonderful boyfriend of now 8 years who has always been supportive, I began suffering from panic attacks every day multiple times in the day. It was scary, exhausting, embarrassing, annoying, and it made me feel like such a burden. It took a lot of reassurance from my kind family and boyfriend who I am eternally blessed and gratefully for all of them. Eventually, with their help and the help of a psychiatrist who prescribed me 20 mg of Lexapro, I was able to regain control of my life and my panic attacks no longer plagued me. They come and go from time to time, but it’s usually when I’m irregular with my pills or have been pushing my triggers. Just yesterday, the horrible anxiety from my panic attacks has been returning. I’ve been taking my pills regularly and I’ve been trying to be conscious about my triggers, so I don’t really understand what’s wrong with me. This is causing me even greater anxiety as one of my bigger fears and therefore triggers is my pills not working one day. I understand this may simply mean a change in medication is needed, but it scares me to think that what used to work suddenly might not anymore. And what if it never works again? What if I’m plagued with panic disorder for the rest of my life? I’m not sure if this has ever happened before, but if it was possible for me to suddenly develop panic disorder/panic attacks, has it ever been possible to suddenly no longer have them ever again? I keep trying to remind myself that this doesn’t last forever and that I’ve made it through this before, but I just feel so frustrated and scared. I know that this route is not for everyone, but I find that faith helps me a great deal. I have prayed for this illness to go away before and it has actually worked. I pray that someday, I will never have to feel a panic attack or anxiety related to panic attacks/panic disorder. If anyone has similar feelings or a similar experience to mine with panic attacks, I would love to chat with you. I would also greatly appreciate tips and advice on how you were able to overcome panic disorder/panic attacks. Thank you again for all your help. May God bless you all. ❤️