You're a single, mid-50s guy, living in a house with NO mortgage of any kind...oh, YOU MUST BE GAY, right???...

I inherited the family home three years ago after my widowed mom died...no mortgage at all, just paying for the property taxes and homeowners insurance...

The last two years have been pure crap as almost every Realtor in the valley has been texting/emailing me and sending me postcards twice a week EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK....

To them(in THEIR warped thinking)...

A guy who has NO immediate family(wife, kids AND a dog) MUST be GAY, therefore we must band together and try to evict him and resell it to a nice "American family" because the city's population is falling fast and the school district is desperate for NEW young families to move here...

Example:"Hello, Mr. Mikesell...

Me:yeah...

Realtor:would you please reconsider saying no to our sales associates and say yes to selling your home at(address redacted)...you have 48 hours to say yes...

Me:screen you, I'll keep saying no until you give up or I'll call the sheriff's deputies on you for harassing me...

Realtor:I WON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!!!

Me:what makes you think that I'm gay???...do you see any rainbow flags on my property???...

Realtor:no, but the way you dress and conduct yourself in public...

Me:are you spying on me???...

Realtor:yes, we have an in-house private investigation division following you on social media, mainly because you're illegally following celebrity blogger Perez Hilton...

Me:posting "extended middle finger" emoji...

MY house, MY rules...