Struggling to understand detachment

I’ve been trying to practice detachment, specifically from outcomes I can’t control and from people who mistreat me or no longer serve a purpose in my journey. But no matter how much I try, I haven’t been able to fully detach. Whenever I feel out of control or unprepared for an outcome, I get triggered, and it brings up a lot of anxiety.

One thing I can’t seem to wrap my head around is this: If I’m actively trying to detach from something, doesn’t that still mean I’m attached to it? Like, if I’m thinking about the fact that I need to detach, isn’t that just another form of attachment? It feels like a paradox, and I don’t know how to break out of it.

If anyone has a perspective that helped them work through this, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks!