Best friend committed suicide in my arms

I (m41) was with my closest and dearest friend (f42) when she took her life by medically assisted suicide. She has been in pain for many years due to a spinal injury. She was one of the toughest and smartest women I've ever met and I'm surprised we were even friends to begin with as are total opposite, she is very goth and likes to be mysterious and I'm a cat shirt wearing raver, but our friendship flourished

Recently she was given an eviction notice from her aunt that saying that she would not allow MAID ( medically assisted in death) to happen in her house so she wanted her out, being on disability and the short notice, my friend decided to end her life.

I was the only friend or family there, and she was terrified, so I laid in the bed with her and held her tight, told her how much I love her and how grateful for our time together. And as the doctor started injecting the sedative she just rolled her head into my chest and she went to sleep. And that was it, I held her tighter and fought back tears as the rest of the drugs went in.

I've lost people before and seen death. But this one hit me in a whole different way. I feel rage, sorrow, emptiness. I'd do anything to bring her back.

Edit- I just want to thank everyone for the outpouring of support and the kind words. A few of you have even reached out to keep an eye on me. This community has been amazing and just thank you so much.