The Ultimate Comprehensive In-Depth Distractible Episodic Review (Day 2)
Episode 8: Conventions
Number Ranking: 6/10 Tier Rank: D “A Con Job, That’s Just Show Blizz” is so bad it’s somehow better than “There Will Be Balls”. This episode really showcases how good of a narrator Mark is. He really made the DashCon story his bitch. The sound design also emphasizes this. As someone who’s never watched My Little Pony, knows absolutely nothing about it, and has no want to do so I hope to God there is a pony named “Dashydoo”. Even though I had already heard about DashCon I really enjoyed Mark’s telling of it. Not to say that I didn’t enjoy Wade’s telling of the BlizzCon story, but I definitely enjoyed his story less. I think Wade can tend to over explain a story which in turn makes listening to it a tad boring. Still an interesting story nonetheless. Imagining the guys at a Dutch baby convention looking at breast pumps amuses me. Wade saying “buy a baby, build a baby”, made me chuckle. I love how Mark gets up his own ass due to Wade’s story not being his own personal story when Mark’s story was arguably even less personal. I definitely think Mark should have won this episode, but Wade winning because he was a kissass will never not be funny. Wade may be a kissass, but he’s a damn good kissass. Still waiting for Distractible’s Gamer Guy Piss Jars. This is also another episode that I’d use as noise cancelation rather than seeking it out and even then if I was listening It would only be for Mark’s telling of DashCon. Not to say this was a nothing episode but it’s probably the first episode that if it turned on I would be inclined to skip it.
Episode 9: Hold My Beer
Number Ranking: 10/10 Tier Ranking: S Opens with a continuation to Bob’s Fridge, let’s fucking go. Love how in these early episodes they just go “Ok, time for an ad read…” before an ad starts. “The Day I Broke My Ass” is such an iconic story. I loved watching the animation that came out for it. God, while Mark was getting his ass DESTROYED I was 3 years old. Mark’s entire story makes me laugh audibly. Bob’s laugh after Mark said the other college students left him to die always kills me. Then the ass destroying story leads into the lofting the beds story. True bliss. The mental image of Mark being 2 inches away from the ceiling staring into the dark abyss of some random couple getting down and dirty will always never not be funny. Bob revealing that Mark basically cosplayed to do parkour is hilarious. Mark’s realization that he never saw the guy who broke his ribs is also hilarious. It’s funny because I was listening to this episode before I was in college and now being into my Junior year of college and being in a fraternity, I appreciate the idiocracy of these guys more and more. Finally, after that constant barrage of hilarity, we get to Bob’s motorcycle story. As I’ve said before, Bob is such an amazing storyteller. The way he structures the story and the build-up is mesmerizing. Even though the story itself isn’t the funniest thing in the world, Bob makes it one of the funniest things in the world. I feel like I’m there with Bob, especially because of the sound design. I’m at the edge of my car seat bracing for a wreck every time I listen to either of the stories in this episode. Mark’s story ALONE has 3 different animations. Mark and Bob are like the perfect Yin and Yang storytelling wise. Mark’s story (and the additional one) is just complete hilarity while Bob’s story is absolutely fascinating. The dynamic between Mark and Bob is what makes this episode. One of the early ones I come back to often. This is absolutely an ESSENTIAL Distractible listen.
Episode 10: Synchronicity
Number Ranking: 8/10
Tier Rank: B
Imagine only knowing Mark, Bob, and Wade for Distractible? I’ve been watching these 3 idiots for YEARS, even before Distractible. I honestly was kinda falling out of watching their let’s plays, but Distractible got me back into watching gaming videos all together. Every time Wade yells “JUMP” I chuckle. “Out of the Semi, Into the Synchronicity” is absolute garbage but him snapping back at Bob made it better. God, Wade talking about choosing a car and STILL not having one 4 years later is pretty hilarious. It has to be a bit, it has to. Classic Wade to be a sore player. Wade calling out Mark for his terrible fashion is always welcome. This episode really opened my mind to my own self-actualization when Bob talked about how the older you get the smaller and smaller the increments of our perceived time gets. I remember explaining it to my Math teacher and she looked at me like I was insane. I completely understand what Bob is talking about when he talks about his experience with deja vu. Listen to the boys talk about the inane bullshit scientific words and how it makes no sense is always funny. Wade trying to force a boob synchronicity is just classic Wade. The boobs and dinner bit always makes me laugh. I would definitely choose to NOT be a part of the hive mind. I fill my own head with too many thoughts already, I don’t need anyone else’s. This episode is just a fun thought experiment explained by 3 idiots. I don’t come back to it often but when I do I know I’m in for a good time.
Episode 11: Perfect Crime
Number Ranking: 7/10 Tier Rank: C
Bed update, lets goo! I too love a cold bed. Wish I had a bed that could make itself cold. Also, if you’re actually reading this, why do they always not mention a brand name if they're not sponsored by it? I understand if it’s a legal thing but if it’s solely because they aren’t getting paid it seems a little weird. Maybe I’m crazy. Bo Burnham mentioned, let’s goo! GTA RP is an early rendition of Wade’s modern Diablo 4 and hibachi talk. Gotta say, Bob always comes up with the most interesting topics. “Where there’s a Will there’s a Wade” is better than Wade’s perfect crime. Imagining Mark going on a Harry Potter date with Smithers is really funny. I think the animation for Mark’s story was my first introduction to Distractible. Mark’s failed date story is one of the funniest Distractible stories of all time. Absolute classic. It really does show how little Wade thought of his perfect crime. This is another instance where the way Wade explained his perfect crime was just so lackluster that it just left me disappointed. Like why did he take out the murder? It’s a crime, murder all you want! Also, was Wade trying to describe a red wheelbarrow? It is amusing how Wade basically created a perfect crime in reverse because his ideas were so… eh. I find it funny they wanted Wade to get to murder but as soon as he did it was too far. By the time we get to tiny water balloon monkeys Wade finally sold me on his perfect crime, but the adventure to get there was kind of drag. I just looked up Monkey Christ for the first time. Goddamn. I don't know who I feel worse for, the widow or the church 😂. Can’t believe the Ship of Theseus was alluded to THIS early. My mind kind of turned off during the final half of the episode but came back for the cool organ/body replacement crime and the counterfeit organ boy. The best part of this episode is Mark's Smithers story and the surrounding small talk. There is a decent bit throughout the middle and second half where I kind of lose interest and stop paying attention to the episode. Not to say it’s bad but there are definite highlights and low points in this episode. When I come back to this episode I usually only stick around for the Smithers story and then change it.
Episode 12: Kids Are Stupid
Number Ranking: 7.5/10 Tier Rank: C
Honestly they should consider renaming the podcast to “I BE DIS RAT”. Bob’s trying to spell Distractible emphatically and making Mark slap his chest and do jumping jacks to aid in his burp will always be funny. Banger opening to an episode. I am of the opinion that Mark should’ve raised the age to around 15 so they could’ve had more stories. Mark’s childhood stories of him and his brother being absolute sociopaths is a great introductory story. I REMEMBER HAVING THE GOOP BUG CANDY KIT IT WAS FUCKING TERRIBLE. The entirety of Bob’s “Lawn Darts Should Not Exist” section was a fun listen. Wade’s story was okay, my favorite part of his section was the pool story and Mark’s Dad’s terrible ex. Can’t believe someone that horrible could exist. The sword and Soulja bits were pretty interesting. Pretty ok episode with 1 super memorable story but outside of that nothing special.
Episode 8: Conventions
Number Ranking: 6/10 Tier Rank: D “A Con Job, That’s Just Show Blizz” is so bad it’s somehow better than “There Will Be Balls”. This episode really showcases how good of a narrator Mark is. He really made the DashCon story his bitch. The sound design also emphasizes this. As someone who’s never watched My Little Pony, knows absolutely nothing about it, and has no want to do so I hope to God there is a pony named “Dashydoo”. Even though I had already heard about DashCon I really enjoyed Mark’s telling of it. Not to say that I didn’t enjoy Wade’s telling of the BlizzCon story, but I definitely enjoyed his story less. I think Wade can tend to over explain a story which in turn makes listening to it a tad boring. Still an interesting story nonetheless. Imagining the guys at a Dutch baby convention looking at breast pumps amuses me. Wade saying “buy a baby, build a baby”, made me chuckle. I love how Mark gets up his own ass due to Wade’s story not being his own personal story when Mark’s story was arguably even less personal. I definitely think Mark should have won this episode, but Wade winning because he was a kissass will never not be funny. Wade may be a kissass, but he’s a damn good kissass. Still waiting for Distractible’s Gamer Guy Piss Jars. This is also another episode that I’d use as noise cancelation rather than seeking it out and even then if I was listening It would only be for Mark’s telling of DashCon. Not to say this was a nothing episode but it’s probably the first episode that if it turned on I would be inclined to skip it.
Episode 9: Hold My Beer
Number Ranking: 10/10 Tier Ranking: S Opens with a continuation to Bob’s Fridge, let’s fucking go. Love how in these early episodes they just go “Ok, time for an ad read…” before an ad starts. “The Day I Broke My Ass” is such an iconic story. I loved watching the animation that came out for it. God, while Mark was getting his ass DESTROYED I was 3 years old. Mark’s entire story makes me laugh audibly. Bob’s laugh after Mark said the other college students left him to die always kills me. Then the ass destroying story leads into the lofting the beds story. True bliss. The mental image of Mark being 2 inches away from the ceiling staring into the dark abyss of some random couple getting down and dirty will always never not be funny. Bob revealing that Mark basically cosplayed to do parkour is hilarious. Mark’s realization that he never saw the guy who broke his ribs is also hilarious. It’s funny because I was listening to this episode before I was in college and now being into my Junior year of college and being in a fraternity, I appreciate the idiocracy of these guys more and more. Finally, after that constant barrage of hilarity, we get to Bob’s motorcycle story. As I’ve said before, Bob is such an amazing storyteller. The way he structures the story and the build-up is mesmerizing. Even though the story itself isn’t the funniest thing in the world, Bob makes it one of the funniest things in the world. I feel like I’m there with Bob, especially because of the sound design. I’m at the edge of my car seat bracing for a wreck every time I listen to either of the stories in this episode. Mark’s story ALONE has 3 different animations. Mark and Bob are like the perfect Yin and Yang storytelling wise. Mark’s story (and the additional one) is just complete hilarity while Bob’s story is absolutely fascinating. The dynamic between Mark and Bob is what makes this episode. One of the early ones I come back to often. This is absolutely an ESSENTIAL Distractible listen.
Episode 10: Synchronicity
Number Ranking: 8/10
Tier Rank: B
Imagine only knowing Mark, Bob, and Wade for Distractible? I’ve been watching these 3 idiots for YEARS, even before Distractible. I honestly was kinda falling out of watching their let’s plays, but Distractible got me back into watching gaming videos all together. Every time Wade yells “JUMP” I chuckle. “Out of the Semi, Into the Synchronicity” is absolute garbage but him snapping back at Bob made it better. God, Wade talking about choosing a car and STILL not having one 4 years later is pretty hilarious. It has to be a bit, it has to. Classic Wade to be a sore player. Wade calling out Mark for his terrible fashion is always welcome. This episode really opened my mind to my own self-actualization when Bob talked about how the older you get the smaller and smaller the increments of our perceived time gets. I remember explaining it to my Math teacher and she looked at me like I was insane. I completely understand what Bob is talking about when he talks about his experience with deja vu. Listen to the boys talk about the inane bullshit scientific words and how it makes no sense is always funny. Wade trying to force a boob synchronicity is just classic Wade. The boobs and dinner bit always makes me laugh. I would definitely choose to NOT be a part of the hive mind. I fill my own head with too many thoughts already, I don’t need anyone else’s. This episode is just a fun thought experiment explained by 3 idiots. I don’t come back to it often but when I do I know I’m in for a good time.
Episode 11: Perfect Crime
Number Ranking: 7/10 Tier Rank: C
Bed update, lets goo! I too love a cold bed. Wish I had a bed that could make itself cold. Also, if you’re actually reading this, why do they always not mention a brand name if they're not sponsored by it? I understand if it’s a legal thing but if it’s solely because they aren’t getting paid it seems a little weird. Maybe I’m crazy. Bo Burnham mentioned, let’s goo! GTA RP is an early rendition of Wade’s modern Diablo 4 and hibachi talk. Gotta say, Bob always comes up with the most interesting topics. “Where there’s a Will there’s a Wade” is better than Wade’s perfect crime. Imagining Mark going on a Harry Potter date with Smithers is really funny. I think the animation for Mark’s story was my first introduction to Distractible. Mark’s failed date story is one of the funniest Distractible stories of all time. Absolute classic. It really does show how little Wade thought of his perfect crime. This is another instance where the way Wade explained his perfect crime was just so lackluster that it just left me disappointed. Like why did he take out the murder? It’s a crime, murder all you want! Also, was Wade trying to describe a red wheelbarrow? It is amusing how Wade basically created a perfect crime in reverse because his ideas were so… eh. I find it funny they wanted Wade to get to murder but as soon as he did it was too far. By the time we get to tiny water balloon monkeys Wade finally sold me on his perfect crime, but the adventure to get there was kind of drag. I just looked up Monkey Christ for the first time. Goddamn. I don't know who I feel worse for, the widow or the church 😂. Can’t believe the Ship of Theseus was alluded to THIS early. My mind kind of turned off during the final half of the episode but came back for the cool organ/body replacement crime and the counterfeit organ boy. The best part of this episode is Mark's Smithers story and the surrounding small talk. There is a decent bit throughout the middle and second half where I kind of lose interest and stop paying attention to the episode. Not to say it’s bad but there are definite highlights and low points in this episode. When I come back to this episode I usually only stick around for the Smithers story and then change it.
Episode 12: Kids Are Stupid
Number Ranking: 7.5/10 Tier Rank: C
Honestly they should consider renaming the podcast to “I BE DIS RAT”. Bob’s trying to spell Distractible emphatically and making Mark slap his chest and do jumping jacks to aid in his burp will always be funny. Banger opening to an episode. I am of the opinion that Mark should’ve raised the age to around 15 so they could’ve had more stories. Mark’s childhood stories of him and his brother being absolute sociopaths is a great introductory story. I REMEMBER HAVING THE GOOP BUG CANDY KIT IT WAS FUCKING TERRIBLE. The entirety of Bob’s “Lawn Darts Should Not Exist” section was a fun listen. Wade’s story was okay, my favorite part of his section was the pool story and Mark’s Dad’s terrible ex. Can’t believe someone that horrible could exist. The sword and Soulja bits were pretty interesting. Pretty ok episode with 1 super memorable story but outside of that nothing special.