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Madison Howard

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New-Replacement5

2025-01-15 02:38:43

I told my parents 54M and 49F to write me 26F out of the will if I had to become a Christian to inherit

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You might take a hard look at the mirror, because this statement tells me you might have picked up some of your parent's judgementalism. What if one of your siblings is a recovering addict? "Oh, nothing for them, they might crawl back in the bottle". Or had a conviction because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time? "Oh, they are irredeemably stained by one bad choice or just bad luck". And who does the judging? You? Sounds like you are fine with setting up a "moral test" to kick the other siblings "out of the house", you just don't want it applied to you.

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If my sibling had successfully recovered from their addiction I would have no qualms about giving them anything. If they were currently fighting their addiction, I would allocate that money to fund their recovery. However, I see it as unwise and uncaring to fund something that is destroying them. Why throw more fuel into a raging fire. I’ve had many family members fall into and die of addiction and I’m completely aware of the utter illness it is and the destruction it causes them and others. As an eight year old I watched my aunt overdose and was in the car as my parents drove her to the hospital. I’ve lost one of my brothers to alcoholism. I’ve got a lot of empathy for those who struggle with that illness, but I won’t fund something that would further my siblings demise. I don’t want to lose any more siblings. And with everything my parents and my family have gone through I understand where that clause comes from.

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If you want to be the total arbiter of what your siblings get and under what conditions they get it, you should probably set up a family trust with you in charge. But don't be surprised if all your siblings end up hating you for being as controlling as your parents are.

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I think you’re making some pretty big assumptions about my intentions here. My comment was about trying to understand my parents’ reasoning, not about imposing my own values or restrictions, although I did mention why I agreed with some of my parents stipulations and gave you the CONTEXT on why.

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